Create

*vain note:  I just realized I posted this without saying, I'VE NEVER PAINTED BEFORE.  These are from the last year.  Soooo yeah.  don't judge too much. ;)  k thanks.

I've always loved President Uchtdorf's Talk "Happiness, Your Heritage" and the Mormon Message they created to go with it.  (Shout out to Kate, "where can I get this soundtrack?!")

"The desire to create is one of the deepest yearnings of the human soul. No matter our talents, education, backgrounds, or abilities, we each have an inherent wish to create something that did not exist before."

I feel like it's so easy to get discouraged about what we haven't done or what we wish we could be better at.  It's times like that when I love being able to sit down and create.  To hash it out on the piano, make a meal for somebody, or doodle with a paintbrush.  

Here are some of the things I've "created" lately.  I'm not one to come up with a picture to paint on my own, so usually I look up pictures online and then just do my best to copy them.  Here are some of the things I've done. I'm actually really proud of how well they turned out overall.   (Many of them get thrown away.)  

Aspen trees

"Creation brings deep satisfaction and fulfillment. We develop ourselves and others when we take unorganized matter into our hands and mold it into something of beauty."

Pretty colors, right?!  I was super proud of how the sidewalk turned out.

You might say, “I’m not the creative type. When I sing, I’m always half a tone above or below the note. I cannot draw a line without a ruler. And the only practical use* for my homemade bread is as a paperweight or as a doorstop.”

*But for real.  

Love me some springtime.

"If that is how you feel, think again, and remember that you are spirit daughters of the most creative Being in the universe. Isn’t it remarkable to think that your very spirits are fashioned by an endlessly creative and eternally compassionate God? Think about it—your spirit body is a masterpiece, created with a beauty, function, and capacity beyond imagination."

When I lived with my grandma for a few weeks in the summer while I was engaged she did this cardboard cut out painting with me.  It was great.

 "If you are a mother, you participate with God in His work of creation—not only by providing physical bodies for your children but also by teaching and nurturing them. If you are not a mother now, the creative talents you develop will prepare you for that day, in this life or the next."

So humbling.  And exciting.

Once again, copied from the internet.  His little face kills me.

Lions and elephants are my favorite animals so they had to be what I tried painting first.  I also showed Derek this probably ten times in the process of doing it because I couldn't get over how cute they were.

"I believe that as you immerse yourselves in the work of our Father—as you create beauty and as you are compassionate to others—God will encircle you in the arms of His love."

Because He Lives

On this wonderful Easter day I want to share my thoughts on the meaning and import of this holiday. For me, Easter is more meaningful than Christmas. Why? Because on Christmas, we celebrate the birth of Christ. But on Easter, we celebrate his Atonement and triumph over sin and death--the reason for his birth in the first place.

The Savior's life was a perfect example for how each of us should live. His sacrifice and death on the cross of Calvary ensures that we can lay claim to his grace and power to save. His resurrection on that first Easter Sunday is our greatest source of hope in a troubled world.

Jesus Christ was perfect. He taught the gospel with power and authority from his Father. He commanded devils to depart, brought sight to the blind, and healed the sick. Even before his own resurrection, he proved that he had power over death. His walk among mortal men was filled with service, teaching, and love--a perfect pattern for all of us to follow. John, the apostle who knew him best, said, "and there are also many other things which Jesus did, the which, if they should be written every one, I suppose that even the world itself could not contain the books that should be written" (John 21:25). Truly he was the greatest man to ever have walked the earth.

In the week leading up to Easter, we celebrate Holy Week and commemorate the final events of the Savior's life. He entered Jerusalem accompanied by shouts of Hosanna and again proclaimed his authority as he cleansed and taught in the temple. His teachings to the apostles in that final week are some of the greatest pronouncements of love, hope, and peace that have ever been uttered:

A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another (John 13:33-34).

I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you (John 14:18).

Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid (John 14:27).

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you (John 15:13-14).

In his final hours on earth, Christ suffered unspeakable emotional, physical, and spiritual pain as he took upon himself the sins of the world. It is impossible for mortals to comprehend the depth and intensity of his sufferings. Why did he suffer? Why did he die? A few scriptures from the Book of Mormon help us understand why he endured so much pain and anguish:

And the world, because of their iniquity, shall judge him to be a thing of naught; wherefore they scourge him, and he suffereth it; and they smite him, and he suffereth it. Yea, they spit upon him, and he suffereth it, because of his loving kindness and his long-suffering towards the children of men (1 Nephi 19:9).

And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people. 

And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.  

Now the Spirit knoweth all things; nevertheless the Son of God suffereth according to the flesh that he might take upon him the sins of his people, that he might blot out their transgressions according to the power of his deliverance; and now behold, this is the testimony which is in me (Alma 7:11-13).

For behold, I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent; (D&C 19:16).

Christ suffered "because of his loving kindness and his long-suffering towards the children of men." Christ suffered so that he would know how to succor us. Christ suffered to blot out our transgression and to loose the bands of death. Christ suffered to ease OUR sufferings. Christ willingly suffered because he loves YOU. Christ suffered because he loves his Father and wanted ALL of his Father's children to return to him. I testify that Christ has opened the door to our salvation. We can be comforted. We can be forgiven. We can be cleansed from sin. We can walk back into the presence of the Father and "dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness" (Mosiah 2:41).

After Christ had suffered and was crucified on the cross, the greatest miracle of all--and the one that we celebrate on this day--occurred. The Savior of the World, the man who had been crucified, was raised up from the grave. He appeared to many people. He walked alongside them. He ate with them. He taught them.

The greatest miracle of all is the assurance that because he triumphed over death, the gift of the resurrection is given to all. Every man that has ever lived on this earth will also be resurrected. "The soul shall be restored to the body, and the body to the soul; yea, and every limb and joint shall be restored to its body; yea, even a hair of the head shall not be lost; but all things shall be restored to their proper and perfect frame (Alma 40:23). We will see our loved ones again. We will be reunited with our Father. We will have the opportunity to become like him.

I now cite the testimony of the modern apostles of the Lord Jesus Christ:

We solemnly testify that His life, which is central to all human history, neither began in Bethlehem nor concluded on Calvary.

We bear testimony, as His duly ordained Apostles—that Jesus is the Living Christ, the immortal Son of God. He is the great King Immanuel, who stands today on the right hand of His Father. He is the light, the life, and the hope of the world. His way is the path that leads to happiness in this life and eternal life in the world to come. God be thanked for the matchless gift of His divine Son.

To their testimony I wish to add my own. Christ lives! He did truly suffer and die for us. His resurrection is the true source of our hope. He is the source of peace and love and joy. "All that is unfair about life can be made right through the Atonement of Jesus Christ" (PMG, p. 52). I testify that Jesus Christ knows you and loves you. I testify that he did ascend from the Garden Tomb on the third day and is now enthroned in glory with his Father. I testify that his sufferings and death make it possible for us to return to our Heavenly Father and to take our place with Christ at the right hand of God.

This is what we celebrate as we contemplate the resurrection of Christ every Easter. We celebrate the hope of eternal life. We celebrate the love of our Father in Heaven. We celebrate the plan of salvation that leads to our eternal happiness. We celebrate the One who did truly rise from the tomb "with healing in his wings" (2 Nephi 25:13). We celebrate what is possible because he lives.

Future mommy + daddy + baby

Derek and I were talking the other day and realized, we haven't blogged about being pregnant.

Which is a huge mistake because it's a pretty big deal.  And we're just thrilled.

Right now our little baby girl is kicking throughout the day.  Sometimes if I'm really patient I can actually see the kicking--which blows my mind  The fact that there's a little human inside of me who is getting bigger and bigger and learning to move her arms and legs is amazing.

sooooooo cute.

We've enjoyed following the size of her growth through a website that tracks the baby compared to foods.  I cannot believe that at 4 weeks she was the size of a poppyseed, like a little kidney bean at 8 weeks, and her little body has still continued growing and growing!  We've watched her progress from the size of a lime to a lemon, from an apple to a bell pepper.  Right now at 28 weeks she's apparently the size of a large eggplant.  Pretty amazing.

A couple of my growing pictures.  The left was at about 18 weeks (when I finally started showing for real!) and the right at 28.

What are we most excited for?  Derek told me the other day that he can't wait to just play with her and make her laugh.  Adorable.  For me this is silly, but at first I was just excited to start organizing her things...making a little diaper drawer and finding places for all of her things in the home.  Now I think I just can't wait to see her little face and snuggle with her all day.  I've loved holding my newborn babies at work every day (before I poke them with needles.  sad.)   and I'm excited to see what she comes out like.  We only have one baby in our families and when my nephew arrived he was perfect.  So it'll be fun to see her.

A couple weeks ago we planted some flowers in our planter box and joked that this is our test to see if we can be parents.  (Some people get dogs before they have kids--we're just doing flowers.)  It's been pretty fun. We get so excited seeing the little green sprouts popping up out of the soil.  (and it's good because so far they haven't died on us.  Good sign.)  No blossoms yet, but hopefully soon!

  Obviously one side is growing better than the other.  We each took a side when we planted and we keep arguing over who must have planted the wimpy side.  

So that's what's going on in our lives.  We're so excited. Sometimes it's scary and crazy that we're going to be PARENTS--that this is for real.  But we have great examples to look to and we have the gospel to help us know where to focus as we raise our family.  We can't wait for June!

My Favorite Place on Earth

We've been in the process of something really difficult for my family for a while now, and I'm writing about it because of how special it is to me. After years and years, my grandpa and grandma have made the decision to sell the family farm. It's really hard for all of us to see it go, but it's getting harder for my grandparents to manage it all and we have had some very spiritual impressions that even though none of us want to, that selling the farm is the right decision for our family. We love this place and I'm so grateful for what it means to our family, so I want to share just a little bit about it with you.

First, let's just talk about the story of how it started.  When John Toone came with the Martin Handcart Company in the 1850s, his family settled Croydon, Utah and the surrounding area.  It has stayed in the Toone family ever since, and my grandpa has worked hard all his life to take care of it all.  Over time, my grandpa acquired more and more pieces of it from his family members until he owned the whole property.  It has taken him and grandma fifty years of working every day of their lives to pay it off.  They finally paid it off about two years ago.

This cabin has stood for 150 years

My grandpa taught LDS institute for his primary job but continued to run the farm.  During the summer, my grandparents with their seven kids went up to the farm and lived in a tent for the summer.  They bathed in the creek, brushed their teeth in the creek, kept food cold in the creek.  And they worked hard.

Eventually, we built a shop where we kept the tractor and all the tools.  Later, we built a loft with rooms so they could sleep.  As the family expanded we built a second shop.  The original shop became the "house."  The tractors and 4-wheelers were parked in the shop along with the tools.  We got a bigger tractor which wouldn't fit in the shop so we built an overhang.  As the family continued to expand, we built three little bunk cabins next to the house so everyone would have a place to sleep.

One of my favorite memories of the farm was when we went up one year knowing that there was a surprise for the whole family.  My mom knew what it was, but none of the kids did.  But on the drive up through Weber canyon, we saw a truck with a trailer on the back with a huge new tractor.  A John Deere.  Suddenly we knew what the surprise was.  When my grandpa was shopping for the tractor one of his criteria was how many of the cousins he could fit in the bucket.

I literally thought I was going to die by falling out of a tractor bucket when my grandpa would treat us to a roller coaster ride in it :) There are surprisingly few handholds in a tractor bucket.

**Side note** John Deere tractors are THE BEST.  There's no comparison.  Sure, other companies make tractors, but nothing runs like a Deere.  One year we all got John Deere t-shirts for Christmas.  Every time I see something with the classic green and yellow, we have to take a picture.

The grounds crew at the Logan Temple was kind enough to let us pose with the John Deere.

Kinda blurry, but this was at the Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago.

We have always tried to take very good care of our farm. As you drive up the county road, you can tell where the property line is.  My grandpa's land has been leveled, all the trees are removed, the alfalfa is literally greener.  We have always felt strongly that when the Lord gives you stewardship over something, you take care of it.  My grandma always refers to the story of pioneers in Nauvoo, who swept off their porches the day they were driven out.  They knew they were never coming back, but they wanted to leave their homes in the best condition they could.  We've adopted that mentality for our farm, and we take care of it with all our hearts.

The ranch is a refuge from the world. No cell service and no internet. It's a good way to escape the world and just focus on what is most important. Our family has shared some really sacred experiences there. Once when I was seeking to strengthen my testimony of the Book of Mormon, I went up to the ranch to have a Parley Pratt experience. I opened the book early in the morning and read all day. I read the whole Book of Mormon in one day, and in doing so had one of the most profound experiences of my life. The truth of it was confirmed to me as I sat up in the mountains alone where I could be closest to the Spirit. I'm grateful that I had such a special place to go to when I wanted solitude and a chance to experience peace. My whole family has had similarly sacred experiences at the ranch.

My grandpa and grandma have worked hard their entire lives so we could have a special place for our family and so we could learn to work hard.  I'm eternally grateful for the farm!!!  To our family, it is sacred ground.  While we may not always hold the title to it, the feelings and relationships forged and strengthened because of it will always be ours.  And when we get to heaven, I wouldn't be surprised if it felt a lot like Hell Canyon Ranch.

Marriage makes you learn things.

They say that once you're married your personal growth improves exponentially.  I'd have to say that they are right.

For example.

Since we've been married, Derek has helped me stop sticking apple stickers everywhere.  Sometimes they'd be on the sink.  Sometimes on the counter.  Sometimes on the bags bread comes in.  I've now learned to take the time to walk to the trash and throw it away.

Second.  I still do this, but I try to avoid it when it's at someone else's house.  Eating a third of a cookie and leaving the rest on the plate.

It really is the best way to eat a cookie, though.  In fact I taught all of my roommates to do it too.

Next.  Derek has helped me develop critical thinking skills when making big decisions.  To illustrate, during the summer we still had some Target gift cards left from our wedding (thanks everybody!!--but really. so grateful.)  so whenever we needed something we'd just go get it from Target!  Sometimes we'd even just walk around the store for fun.

One day, I found a box of $2 strawberry shortcake ice cream bars in the freezer section and Derek was really nice and said we could get them! (we don't often get sweets because he doesn't love them.)  I was super excited and giddy.  Then we found the purse section and a purse that was exactly what I had been looking for for a long time.

He said we could get the purse too!

Um, BEST DAY EVER.

Just kidding.  He said I had to choose one of them.  And that maybe the next time we could come back and get the other.

Never mind the fact that the purse was about 10 times the price of the ice cream bars and would last a lot longer, I was distraught.  This was totally unfair.  Embarrassing part of the story? I wanted to cry.  I knew I needed a purse, but I really really wanted the ice cream.

Eventually I reluctantly and slowly walked back to the freezer section and put the ice cream bars back.

This is when I put the ice cream back.  I look stupid.  But I was mad.

Having supposedly "passed the test" Derek told me I could now get both.

I didn't.  I was too mad.  We left.  With a purse.  But without ice cream bars.

But don't worry.  Next time we went to Target we got the ice cream bars.  And they were SO good.  Even Derek loved them.

Finally, Derek has taught me the proper way to load groceries in the car.

I used to just like. . .load them in.  Not with a rhyme or reason, but just put them in the car quickly so we could hurry home.  But I learned:  You should put the heavy things like cans or milk in FIRST, then the bread and other mushy things.  So they don't get smooshed.

Basically I've become a very classy person ever since marrying Derek.

The Big Apple

A few weeks ago Kaylie and I had a priceless opportunity. A family that I had taught and baptized on my mission in New York was getting sealed! Not only was it an opportunity to go see one of the coolest cities in the world, but I would have a chance to see so many people whom I love so much and to have Kaylie with me! We decided to make a vacation of it and skip a few days of school so we could do some sightseeing too.

We flew in on the overnight flight, which gave us the opportunity to see the city lights as we descended, which was really cool.

Our first stop after a quick nap was the temple for the sealing!!! The E train to the 1 train transition went super smoothly and we made it just in time!

If you've never been to the Manhattan temple, put it on the bucket list. It's right in the middle of the city and is a completely unique experience.

 After the sealing, we took some time walking around Central Park since it was about a block away. Even though I spent two years in New York, I had only been to Central Park once and that was only because we got to walk through it on our way to the temple. So it was cool to get to see it for reals this time. We'll include some pictures down below under the touristy part of this post :)

What a happy family!!!

So glad we could be with the Diaz family. I'm so grateful to have come to know them!!!

It felt good to see the culmination of years of preparation from this special family. They are great examples to me. It is a wonderful feeling to know that this family has been sealed by the Lord and can partake of all of the blessings of the gospel!!! I wish we had some videos of the dancing after the wedding dinner...

Not only did we get to attend the Diaz family's sealing, but we also got to see a lot of other people that I had taught and worked with on my mission. Even though we couldn't see everyone, I was grateful to get caught up with some wonderful people.

Edin Godoy

The Bejarano family

The Elejalde family...love these three kids

I was dumb and didn't take a picture with the Gomez family even though we stayed at their house. But here is a picture of when Juan Carlos got baptized!!! I was chubbier then because I was living on a steady diet of pupusas.

We also got to have a lot of fun! Even though we were only there for four days we got to visit all of my areas (except one) and do all of the touristy stuff on our list too. It's amazing how much you can pack in to just a few days in this city!

Under an archway in Central Park

What a cutie! Central Park really is pretty cool 

Grimaldi's under the Brooklyn Bridge. A New York classic!!! In case you can't tell from our blog, pizza is important to our family... 

View of Manhattan from Brooklyn

Walking the Brooklyn Bridge

The 9/11 Monument: A chilling reminder of what happened here
 

Manhattan from the Staten Island Ferry

Freedom.

Times Square at night is a must. Such a cool city!

I'm so grateful that I was able to make it to the sealing and to get a chance to see so many wonderful people and have Kaylie meet them too! It was so fun and hopefully we can go back soon!!! Until then, stay classy NY!