Fall

In the middle of seasons, I typically think "bleh, I don't want the next one to come.  I'm happy now."  But then all of a sudden, a hint of the next season sneaks in.  It changes my world.  And I get so excited.

I remember taking Kennedy for a walk during the beginning of fall last season and smelling the autumn air and seeing leaves change.  I remember exactly where I was on the sidewalk as I thought,  "I am so happy right now."  I had been happy in Alabama, and it had been nice having warm weather all year round.  But something about the change makes me truly happy.  That day I was convinced that there'd be seasons in heaven.

I love the way the seasons bring memories.  How the autumn air smells like the beginning of school, how winter snow brings all of the holiday memories and feeling of magic.  Jennie told me the other day that the brain connects memories highly with emotions; and how deeply emotional times are most easy to remember in detail.  I'm glad for times with lots of emotion because it's fun to remember.  

I love how each season brings new hope and motivation.  I get excited for life again.  By the end of summer, I'm kind of stagnant.  And every single day in the end of winter takes endurance. But as a new season comes, I suddenly want to live life to the fullest.  I want to create seasonal decorations and treats, I want to learn new things.  I feel like there are things to look forward to again.  

During the first part of pregnancy, I am so unmotivated.  Like, I'll clean and do what I need to--but only barely.   I'm not going the extra mile, and I'm not excited for each day.  It's just another day to be sick. But as I've started to feel a little bit better this week, and as I felt the cooler air today, I couldn't help but be excited.  As I walked down the road, holding Kennedy's hand as she skipped down the street, I found myself dreaming of fall and getting excited to share the joy with Kennedy and Derek.

[Yes, I'm pregnant! I've only told a few people in person so far.  But, as I think only about 4 people read this regularly, I bet I can post this safely without surprising anyone.  11 weeks along, due in March.  I'm quietly excited and will definitely be more thrilled as the baby is further along and I feel better]