Responsible Things

I'll be honest, sometimes I'm a political yapper, but I don't usually act on what I say, you know?  But, this time I actually did something!  And it was actually so much easier than I expected.

I decided to write a letter to my local representative because of the executive order Trump did banning refugees.  Worthy cause I thought.  

  All you have to do is go to house.gov and then click "find my representative."  Enter your zip code, and then send an email!  That's it!  

I'm feeling pretty passionate about the issue, so if you'd like, here's the letter I wrote.  I wrote it pretty quickly.  So I could have said more.  But I can imagine our representatives are getting enough letters that a shorter one is appreciated.

Mr. Lance, 

First of all, thank you for your service and for representing the people of New Jersey!  What a huge time commitment and sacrifice.  I'm so grateful for people like you.

I am a 24 year old wife and mother and as one of your constituents I wanted to write to tell you that I do not support Trump's executive order to ban Muslim immigration.  America is a country of religious freedom and that executive order is targeting a specific religion--without legitimate cause. (And once we target one religion, it becomes a whole lot easier to target other specific religions.)  

America was settled by immigrants, and the country continues to be blessed as people from all over the world come. All of the Muslim people that I have met are faith-filled, good people who are good and hard working citizens.  There is a major difference between Muslims and Radical Islamic terrorists.  While we are indeed fighting the war on terror, we cannot punish the good families and refugees who are escaping their hostile living circumstances. 

 I am a Christian and I believe that we should do as Christ taught.

 "For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me. Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee? Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee? And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me." 

What if the refugee's story were OUR story?  How would we want to be treated?  I know that if it were me, I would hope that America would welcome me. I would hope that America could remember the values it was built upon.  I hope that the Statue of Liberty can continue to be a symbol of welcome and hope.

This is an issue that shouldn't be divided between party lines.  I understand that President Trump is a member of your political party.  In fact, he is a member of my political party as well.  However, this is an issue that is more important that parties and politics.  This is the time for people of principle to stand up to President Trump and to do the right thing. 

Please do all you can to fight for religious freedom and overturn this executive order.  The lives of thousands depend on this.

Thank you,

Kaylie Paulson

And that's it!  Do it, and now you can say that you have contacted a representative.  And if you write about this, you could be helping to make a drastically huge difference for so many people. 

Last year's half marathon

One of my favorite things I did while living in Alabama was train for and then run the half marathon.  It was just so good!  So I decided I would write about it.  Sorry, this reads like a journal more than a post. So sorry.  It's boring.  Unless you're me then you're like, "dude I"m sooooo awesome."

I had Kennedy in June of 2015 and we moved to Alabama in August. In one of our first weeks in the ward a family had us over for dinner and we got talking about running.  Initially I was asked if I wanted to try to train for a half that October and I thought no way.  (A couple times I thought that maybe I could do it, but I'm glad I said no.  I was not ready at all.)  But we found one in March, and because southern Alabama doesn't get cold and icy during the winter I would be able to train all the way up to the race.  So I began!

I was already pushing Kennedy in her stroller on little runs, but I don't think I was running more than a couple miles at this point.  But man, it was so fun!  We woke up and once it was warm enough (usually about 9 am) we headed out together. I loved exploring our new little place.  Initially I always turned right every time we ran, because that was the direction I knew.  But one day I went left, and I'm so glad I did! If you turn right you had to cross the street all the time to stay on the sidewalk, but on the left it continued for miles!  Also it led to the Montrose area of Daphne which was so beautiful.  Trees hung over the streets and the homes were beautiful.  I think back to that long road often.

Some days you know you need to run but have absolutely zero desire to.  But you force yourself to, and then strangely and magically you find yourself going further than ever.  (This has happened to me over and over.  I force myself to just go a block, but then after that I see a turn I've never taken and just like that curiosity forces me to keep going.)

On Saturdays I met with a couple ladies in the ward (Natalie, Titi, Megan, Jennifer) at 5 am and ran our long distances.  We started at the library a mile from my house.  (which was awesome.  I loved not having to drive far--especially since I had to wake up earlier to nurse Kennedy one more time before heading out.)  Our first week we ran 5 miles together and I felt so tough.  We kept increasing the distance to 7..to 8..to 9... AND THEN WE RAN TEN MILES! I had done a 15K once so I had gone 9.3 but I was so proud the day we went 10.

 It was just Titi and me that day.  We parked our cars at the Grand Hotel in Fairhope, drove to my home, and then ran the ten miles to the car. s At the very end I broke off and ran as fast as I could and man.  It was just so fun.  I loved it.  (I had been using the Nike running app and found that my last mile time was 8:11 or something crazy like that.  Whaaaa?!  i was so proud.)  The road to the hotel is awesome.  You run through Montrose, up and down some hills and over bridges, past downtown and all the shops,  directly above the beach for a mile or so, and then finish up past the well manicured homes.  It was the best run ever.

(Then Derek and I loaded up Kennedy, drove to the airport to get Jessica, and then drove 8 hours to Orlando for HARRY POTTER WORLD!!!!! so much fun.  OH my heavens so good. I was stiff though, that's for sure.  That trip still needs a blog post.  Because for real. So good.)

The day I ran 12 miles was great except it was so dark when we started that I tripped on a bump in the sidewalk on our first mile.  I had a huge cut on my knee and it hurt the whole time.  But, I still did it and finished up by gutting it out to the Narnia battle song.  Not a bad day.

The week of the race came and one of my feet was starting to hurt a little bit.  Oh shoot, I thought.  Just in time.  I remember being really stressed about it and I was reading in an older journal right before my 15K and THE EXACT SAME THING WAS GOING ON THEN TOO!  I had prayed really hard back then and the race had gone smoothly so I hoped that if I prayed the same way it would be ok again.  (And it was.)  But that was a tender mercy to have stumbled on that journal entry right before the race.

 When I have a long run or a race ahead of me I'm always mega worried about my digestive system.  Am I gonna have to go during the race??  (They didn't have any porta potties so THANK HEAVENS I DIDN'T!!) I'm always trying to figure out what to eat and get the timing just perfectly.  Seriously it's one of the hardest and most stressful things about a race for me.  Apparently it's important to other people too, because the line for the bathroom before the race was about a million people long.

The morning of the race we all met at Jennifer's house and she drove us out.  It was kind of a scary ride!  We all knew what we had to do and we were all worried for different reasons. My concerns:  1) making sure I was worry free during the race as far as bathrooms were concerned 2) hoping Kennedy would be ok without me.  Up to this point I hadn't been away from her for more than a couple hours  3) I was still nursing Kennedy and didn't know how uncomfortable I'd be waiting so long to nurse her..  Right as we arrived at the check in location (we were the first ones there.  None of us knew how early to come so we were so early!),  my milk came in.  Awe. Some.  I was nice and full for the race and sooooo ready to nurse my girl by the end of those 13 miles!!! The other ladies had other concerns.  A couple of them had stake meetings later that afternoon they hoped they could be there for.  One of them was worried she hadn't trained enough.  Another's period had just started that morning.  Perfect timing all around.  But we started talking about what kind of music motivates us most and that helped to get us excited again.

The race enviroment was so funny.  It was hippie themed.  So people were dressed like hippies, and there was funky music, and it was just so funny.

We warmed up some got in line, and it was time.  One of my weird things about running is I have to have my shoes tied PERFECTLY.  I stop a few times a run to get them so there isn't any uneven pressure anywhere on my foot.  It's this weird thing, but totally real for me.  So during the welcome speeches I kept fiddling with my shoe, over and over.  Then it was time!

I ran, and ran, and ran, and ran.  This part is kind of boring.

Just kidding.  I started off pretty fast, trying to pass people and trying not to trip--it was so crowded!  You have to be so careful not to fall!

You kind of start to settle into your place though.  You find that you're in a group of the same six people just jumping back and forth past each other.  Every once in a while someone will really slow down, or really speed up, but beyond that you're with the same little group for the whole race.  I had fun trying to keep up with a girl for a couple miles and we chatted a bit about how we hope to finish the race.  Eventually she passed me and stayed ahead for several miles.  (Finally during the last couple miles I passed her and stayed ahead until the finish line.  That always feels good.)

During mile 7 we ran on a main highway where the sides were surrounded with people and there were jumbotrons on.  It was so much fun!  So many people cheering, and something exciting happening, after nothing to think about.  *correction:  There was something to think about.  Kitty litter.  I was listening to my running playlist I had put together for the race and ALL OF THE ADS WERE ABOUT KITTY LITTER! UGH.*

During this fun mile 7 portion I got a lot of my energy back and felt that wonderful euphoria of doing something so hard but so good.  I was listening to the National Park's Coracao song at the time (not necessarily a super pump song, but I love the words so it was motivating.) and just loving it.  So fun.

(Also on the playlist were One Direction's Drag me Down, Macklemore's Can't Hold Us, Raid on the Castle from Narnia, Separate Ways from Journey--bad choice.  THis got old half way through my first listening of it, Boomerang by the Summer Set, Love Runs Out by One Republic,  Stitches by Shawn Mendes, WHat do you Mean by JBiebs, Uptown Girl by Billy Joel--another bad choice, Timber by Kesha, Heartbeat by Mat Kearney, Coracao by the National Parks, Bad Blood by Bastille, Laughter Lines by Bastille--you might not think this one is a good running song but IT SO IS., Bleeding out by Imagine Dragons, and Good Feeling by Flo Rida)

After mile 7 it got a little more boring.  And long.  And oh my goodness it was so hot. We're talking Alabama in March.  Where it's humid and sunny.  It was so warm!  I loved getting to that first Gatorade station.  Water is awesome and helps a lot (especially when you pour it on your head!) but I feel like Gatorade helps flood you with life again.)

I"m mad I didn't start speeding up earlier.  I like to save my energy for the final sprint at the end, but i was worried that I had an extra loop before the finish line. So I only sprinted right at the end.  (And by sprinted I mean ran slightly faster.  Not sure how much sprinting anyone can do after a half.  Except for those crazy people who run 5 minute miles the whole time.)

I ran through the finish line and could hear Derek and the other husbands from the ward cheering.  I finished the race in 2:01.  I was so proud!!!!  And smelly and tired.  I had done my 15K and the average pace was 9:15, but in my half marathon the average pace was 9:18.  After becoming a mom!  So I was pleased.  I still think it'd be SO COOL to run a half under 2 hours sometime.  But for now I am totally pleased.

I didn't stretch as much as I should have after the race.  We went to the adult session of stake conference and then out to eat with a couple families after that.  I was literally hobbling through the restaurant.  I was getting double takes by everyone.  I looked 80 years older than I was.  It. Was. Hilarious. Seriously do your stretches people. Because I didn't and it was pretty crazy.

So that was my half marathon experience!  I totally loved it and Im so proud I did it.  It was so hard to consistently run while pushing Kennedy in the mornings, and even harder to wake up at 5 on Saturdays to run alone.  But I did it and the whole experience from training to racing was one I'd totally do again and hope that I can!

They don't resent me.

At the Worldwide Devotional this month, Elder Nelson challenged us to consecrate some time each week to learning about the Savior.  Last week as I read I was touched by a couple scriptures and wrote this poem.

I posted it on instagram (after thinking for a while about whether or not it was too personal or good enough to share. Anyway.)  I posted, "I learned something so important tonight.  Sometimes my predominant feeling about the Atonement is guilt.  But instead it should be gratitude and determination to press forward. That's pretty wonderful."


Also church related, I've started to notice how crazy important it is that I study the scriptures and reconnect every single day.  Because throughout the day, I totally forget.  I really do! I just get so distracted and it's scary how quickly it happens.  I love the clarity I feel once I open the scriptures and let myself forget everything else I've been worrying about and focus on what I read.  Finally I feel like I"m myself again, and the world makes sense once more.

Seriously this world is getting crazy and darkness is everywhere.  And it's not always stuff that's super terrible or whatever.  But it's so easy to become distracted and just throw ourselves completely into frivolous things.  Derek and I have been trying recently to live a little bit more.  To read more, to learn more, to spend less time watching TV and looking at phones.  It's a hard habit to break but there is so much life to live!  (And there will be even more when the weather's better. :)  During January and February I'd just about give anything for warm weather and a weekend of hiking)

Now I'm rambling. Thanks for reading the rambles :)  Now doesn't the word ramble make you want to go on an adventure and explore somewhere?!???  Ugh spring cannot come more quickly!!

The Good and the Hard

The Good.
Derek's birthday on Monday was awesome.  We went shopping in Morristown and then to dinner on Saturday, I surprised him Monday morning with his presents, and then we had a couple over for cake and ice cream that night.  It was so fun.

Wednesday night I went to our ward book club and it we discussed "When Breath Becomes Air."  It was just good.  After that I spontaneously joined a couple moms to see La La Land.  It was so fun, and I was so grateful to have friends I could hang with.  It's such a beautiful movie!  I've been listening to the music ever since, and I feel like I've been singing more around the house this week now too.

Weaning has been going so well.  I've been able to help Kennedy solve her problems other ways than nursing and we're going several days in a row without nursing.  I just gave in twice this week.

Saturday met Kyra's family for a day in Tarrytown--a convenient meeting spot an hour away for each of us.  We had fun!  We went to the Hudson River museum, played at a park, and walked downtown Tarrytown and ate at a local pizza shop.  It's awesome living close enough to Kyra that we can pull quick day trips together.  Her kids are cute and Kennedy had fun running around with them.

I've been working on interviews with VIPkid--a company that teaches Chinese children English online.  It's an amazing company, and my first two interviews went really well!  It has been fun to fantasize what we could do with a little bit of extra income each month.  I would work between 5-7am, so it wouldn't really affect Kennedy.  So that's cool.  And my friends were AWESOME letting Kennedy come play with their toddlers while I interviewed.  My first two interviews went really well!  In fact on my second interview I was only one point away from not needing a third one and just getting the job!


The Bad:
The third interview was awwwwwwful.   (I was going back and forth if I should go for this job and it's been a pain in the neck to get everything done on time! This company moves fast!  They sent me 6 hours of training to be done in two days, another two days to be interviewed, etc. IT HAS BEEN INSANITY.  Also they didn't show up for my second interview because someone had a family emergency and so I sat there for a half hour waiting, then sheepishly picked Kennedy up from my friend's house, no closer than before.) Anyway the third interview.  Holy cow!  THis must have been my answer not to do it because I just couldn't do it.  I was so awkward.  I wasn't like, sad that it didn't work.  It mostly made me laugh.  Because it was pretty pathetic. I got a kind farewell email but the subject line made me laugh.  "Unsuccessful Mock Interview.  Account Deactivation."  bahahaha.

Saturday morning I sobbed right along Kennedy.  Nothing was wrong-wrong.  But I was just done.  Derek was at basketball and she'd been a pill all morning.  Needing to be held all day, screaming as I tried to do some quick crunches and hold a plank.  Discipline has been really hard lately.  Saturday night we were out with Kyra's family eating pizza and Kennedy kept sliding the pizza off of the paper plate onto the bench, thinking it was funny.  I didn't stop her and eventually the pizza landed on the floor.  Sometimes I just don't have the stamina to say no anymore.  And I know I should, I just don't have the energy to say no and handle a tantrum anymore.  (Sometimes I feel like other moms look at me sometimes like, "why is she rushing to help her daughter so quickly?  Doesn't she know she's spoiling her?" and I hate that.  So far though, I don't know how not to.  We're getting though.  I"m getting better at assessing the situation and taking a step back.  But it's hard.) *really, she's a good kid.  She's the best sharer I know--seriously she is so good, and she's so good at picking up toys.  I say no to her and she recovers from tantrums and it's fine.  Although, she is the bad example kid in nursery hahaha.  Yesterday she kept standing in her chair, I'd tell her no, and she'd slide down again, but then slyly get up once again.  Eventually her cute friend started doing it too.  Guys, my kid is that leader kid who starts the problems in class!  Ahhh!

I walked the mall with a couple friends the other day and we ended at the children's play area.  Kennedy decided to be brave and go play without me by the slide.  But then a kid pushed forcefully her away a few times.  She stayed tough for a few seconds, but then the face crumpled and she sobbed, then she stayed by me the rest of the time.  So sad.  (That kid was pushing everybody!  I can imagine his mom felt a little how I did at the pizza shop.  Just done saying no. Still frustrating though.)


I ended with "the bad" because I wanted to say the good about the interviews first.  But now this is a depressing way to end.  Things are AWESOME. I love my Derek, and I love my Kennedy!  haha.  now I can say the end ;)

*To come:  pictures of all of us together on the trip. I don't have them with me otherwise I'd share one :)