First of all, Derek and I were grocery shopping and I was in charge of getting the cilantro. To save a few cents, I took apart one of the bunches, since we would probably use only a small piece of it. So I put my few little stems into a bag and things were good. Until we got to the check-out and I realized that cilantro was sold by the bunch, and the nice lady let me go back and get a full one. Not a big deal, it was just embarrassing.
THEN, the next couple of days, I got up from the dinner table and walked passed the thermostat and hit it so hard it cut my arm! I'm not gonna lie, it hurt SO bad. Like, an impressive amount of pain for a stupid thermostat.
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| I think this was the next day once it had healed a little bit :) |
THEN, we were grocery shopping again and were grabbing a gallon of milk. I went to pick up the jug from Derek, but somehow it slipped from my hands and fell swiftly to the ground. Milk. Ex. Plos. Ion. It was so embarrassing having to stand there and call out after workers to please help us. You don't realize how much a gallon of milk is until it's spread flat along the ground.
It doesn't stop there!
I've been looking at care.com and sittercity for job opportunities here in Chicago. (Not sure anyone would want to hire me to babysit with all this dropping stuff going around...) But anyway. This lady had posted about a sort of home health position and it looked like a great opportunity. I emailed my interest, and got an email back asking for where I live, my email, etc. So, because I don't know how to recognize a scam when I see one, I GIVE HER MY ADDRESS, EMAIL, PHONE. Gratefully not anything else.
Thank heavens I didn't give anything else.
But anyway. In the next few days I get this fancy fake check in the mail from my scammer who hoped I might cash it. (Gratefully by then I had talked to my mom and Derek who recognized all the signs of a scam.) But anyway. Thank goodness I didn't sign onto anything. Thank goodness I have a smart husband and mom. Thank goodness I didn't fall into the trap.
[We've now turned this whole thing into a joke, and any time something bad happens, we blame it on Sharon H, the supposed lady who offered the position. (We've looked and looked, and there's no such person--lady, or man.)
"Derek, I feel really dizzy right now." "It's probably Sharon waving your voodoo doll around."
"Derek, do you still love me?" "Yes, but there's someone who loves you more." "Really? Who?" "She's standing right outside the door." ]
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| This is the closest rendition of his/her portrait we could find. |
Finally*, on Friday I was hanging my laundry up and guess I watched falll? From my 15th floor balcony rail onto the 11th floor balcony rail (it's seriously incredible that it didn't fall straight to the ground, but went back onto a balcony) was my BRIGHT PINK AND ORANGE SPORTS BRA!!!! Ahhhhhh!!!!!!! Not only is it my favorite one, but Ugggh, how awkward!! Like, just imagine...
1) Living on the 11th floor and seeing it drop straight onto your balcony. "Wow! What's...that?" 2) Coming home from work and seeing none other than an unknown bright pink sports bra dangled along your balcony rail. 3) Me leaving a note "um, hi. that's mine. Call me and let's meet so I can get it?"
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| If you look really carefully you can see it. |
Well, I went down and knocked. I figured that was the most grown-up option I had.
And? No answer. Awesome.
I tried again a couple times throughout the day. Aaaand, no answer.
Anyway, that's where the story ends. They probably just threw it away.
And that's the end of it!! I promise I didn't have my cerebellum (balance and coordination area) removed from my brain, and this isn't a pregnancy announcement either...
I'm just totally in control of all aspects of life right now.
*besides the last story, the other ones all happened in a four-day time span.
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